Your gut doesn't lie...

Us women have this "sixth" sense where we know something is up. He may say over and over again that he's not hiding anything from you, but you know something is up. It's just gonna be a matter of time when that "something" surfaces. I'm waiting for the moment when I figure it out and say "AH-HA", I KNEW it, but god knows I don't know sh*t about what's going on, so that moment seems to be kinda far fetched.

But something is not right, my gut tells me so. I'm not really sure if I want to hang out long enough to figure it out either. What to do? I've asked, I tried snooping, it doesn't work, almost gave myself a heart attack. What's the point of a relationship if you can't trust the guy?

*sigh*

when your mind does tricks without the LSD

I swear I'm a freak. Most people jump to conclusions when they don't have all the facts and their minds wander around a bit. ME??? Hahahah...I imagine the hell of out EVERYTHING. That's right, everything. I can go from, hey, he's late for dinner, to he must be fking around behind my back because I have no idea how to hold down a relationship and men can not be trusted because they think with the lower part of their body and everything that comes to mind is negatively devastating. God, I so need drugs now because I have no control over my own thoughts. Thoughts that are physically and mentally crippling because I'm such a fking pessimist.

I have no faith in people, but then, that's a whole 'nother therapy session isn't it?
For now, I will sit in my padded room and rock myself to sleep.

dickens said it best...

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times....

This has been the best 5 months I have ever spent with anyone. The compatibility and the similarities are just astonishing. I felt like god finally got fed up with my yelling screaming and bitching and sent this man into my life.

But...

like everything else in my life, there are always strings attached. F*CK! You would think for once, I'd get what I want without having to jump through hoops like a fking monkey. Dude, it gets tiring.